Dear Friends,
People are different. Those differences can be educational. Those differences can also touch deeply. You get to know yourself through the other person. It is like a mirror, raising questions, asking if you want to change your behavior. Sometimes you do that for a while, until you notice that an uncomfortable feeling is growing.
Yesterday I witnessed a conversation between two colleagues. In that conversation it turned out that they both thought very differently about how best to guide students in this situation. I was happy with this discussion, because it prompted me to conduct my own inquiry: what is my position in this matter?
There is nothing wrong with your individuality. You can learn from each other. Sometimes you need confirmation: but in the end, we agree, don’t we? Sometimes I feel insecure when I discover such a difference: maybe I am wrong? With the possible consequence that I cling to my vision, my self.
‘If you look deeply at a flower, you will only see non-flower elements. That flower consists of beautiful elements. However, one thing is missing: it does not have an independent, permanent self.’ One of the core teachings of Plum Village. Today I was in the store and saw an elderly woman who suddenly grabbed hold of the checkout belt: she ran out of breath and asked for help packing her groceries. I looked at her kindly and suddenly realized that what goes for that flower also goes for this lady. What did she go through in her live? What made her want to do her own shopping despite her instable condition? What elements are there in her that I cannot see but that are necessary to really see her and to have more understanding for her.
During the past few weeks, I have been reading a statement by Thich Nhat Hanh every night:
'So in your true home there is no discrimination; you are free. And when you live with the wisdom of nondiscrimination, you don’t suffer. You have a lot of wisdom and you embrace everyone- every country, every culture, every ethnic group'.
These lines are very inspirational for me. With the returning feeling that I am not at that level of practice. I am so trained in making a difference, in being right, in wanting to know better. How can you change that? Where to begin? By looking at the other with an open heart again and again. Thay uses a wonderful image for this. He once saw groups of three trees. He asked the people of the village why they had done it that way. The villagers told him it was just one tree, but once there had been a very cold winter and it had been bad for the tree. But now, from the same roots of that one trunk, three new shoots had emerged. Above the ground they look like three trees, but below the ground they are connected to each other.
We can dwell on this in our practice. With ourselves, with the other. Understanding what is not immediately visible. I invite you to join us.
I wish you a relaxing weekend with nourishing encounters Joost |
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