Touching self-confidence On the path this morning A little rabbit sits as frozen Waiting to see who will Make the first move. Chan Dieu Nghiem Dear friends, Sometimes a sentence stays in my mind. ‘The practitioner who does not have enough self-confidence will always direct his attention to what is external and wander around and around looking for something.’ Why is it, that this sentence is wandering in my mind and asks my attention? This teacher says that it is not the Dharma, not your teacher, not a sutra or any other written text that is important. It is your inner knowing, your seeds of Bhuddahood that are already there. Your true home. The way out is the way in. I have arrived, I am home, in this moment. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. I think this sentences touches me because deep down I recognize myself in its message. In many situations there is an instant wave of uncertainty. Can I do this? Am I doing it right? But there are also situations when I do make contact to this inner knowing, this self-confidence. Them I am, as someone put it, in the flow. Friend of myself. This sentence touches the question: how is it possible that I somehow lost contact with that inner self-confidence? In the well of my mind are floating answers. One of them is a memory of when I was a child. I am walking out of the church, and a sentence fills my mind: “Lord, I am not worthy for you to come to me, but just speak one word and I will be healed.” The idea that I am not worthy has had a lot of water. Sometimes there is a connection. When I look back on an unexpected situation, a conversation and I realize that I did very well. So it is possible to make the first move, where the rabbit in the poem above is waiting for. It is there and it is not there. The ongoing practice of listening to myself. To dare to consult myself. This statement about the practice of self-confidence, which I read two weeks ago works like the sound of the bell. The bell who invites me to return to my breath and the home of this present moment. In the ‘sound’ of this sentence I recognize something that I lost, somehow. Somebody wrote the sentence in a text because he thought this was an important insight from a Zen master, 1200 years ago. The seeds of Buddha nature is in me every moment but I need wake-up calls. Just like the spring, that is there all the time and now blooms. I would like to practice, together with you, this listening from the source of our inner knowing, our home, and share our practice and insights with each other. I wish you a relaxing Sunday Joost Vriens |
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.