Listening to the Bell
Dear Friends,
Sometimes, it is very difficult to accept that it is like it is. “This is it” is a very deep wisdom of life and also not always easy to practice. Irritation. Anger. Blame. Every now and then I feel overwhelmed by a strong combination of a physical and mental allergic reaction. It comes from deep within me. Tension. Strong hardening from my muscles. Angry voice. One of these sensitivities is connected to a key point of our practice. The mind. ‘You have to be alert, because the mind tricks you’. ‘You cannot see reality as it really is because of your mind’. ‘One of the goals of the practice is to free you from the mind’. Serious and important statements. Part of a very valuable tradition. Thay’s ‘are you sure’ is a strong koan. Bringing the mind ‘back to the here and now is an experience I know from my own practice. But there is this wave of resistance in me that makes it hard for me to listen deep and with compassion. This resistance is not just in my thoughts, in my mind. I can feel it in my body. Strong physical reaction. I have the feeling it is born there, not in my mind. I guess it is connected to old pain. I still don’t understand it, no clear sight of the root of this allergic reaction. Decades ago, when i started reading psychology, I encountered a similar process. The ego. Je have to overcome your ego. It is like a battle. Free of ego. Liberation. Back then, I had no practice, but it was a challenge. In the meantime, after strong and sometimes painful discussions, some understanding is on its way. Now I can see that one of the questions I have is if such a approach of the mind insufficiently based on the principle of non-judgement. Another is related to a dualism that I think I recognize here. The question of the mind is suppressing my core essence? These insight questions support me in more relaxed conversations about this topic and that I feel somewhat more grounded in ‘my’ point of view and less as a reaction to the point of view of the other. It is very complicated. I long for a compassionated view of the mind. Of my mind. But my compassion and understanding of the people who represent this point of view about the mind is much smaller. A form of opponent thinking. And that is not what I want. But it is there. It is as it is at such a moment. And there is also the question of self-judgement: why are you so fanatic about this? Let it go! Be a real practitioner! Not to mention the complicated layer of this argument: ‘you prove it yourself, this is your mind who is fooling you, it is a concept, it is a not nourishing seed’ Enough challenge to practice for years on this cushion. And then, in one moment, there is this text Full of trust you left home, And soon learned to walk the Path- Making yourself a friend to everyone And making everyone a friend. When the whole world is your friend, Fear will find no place to call home. And when you make the mind your friend, You’ll know what trust Really means. Listen. I have followed this path of friendship to its end. And I can say with absolute certainty- It will lead you home. The moment I read this poem there was also a shift in my body. Relaxation. Joy. Insight. A big smile. A boost of energy. Recognition. Remembering. Expressed in words: the core of the practice is to befriend all there is. I am not at the end of this path, like the woman who wrote this. So no certainty. I am at the beginning. Friendship. Peace. Deep listening. Accepting. Important values in our practice. Every now and then I can feel that this allergic reaction is asking for embracement. How to befriend this allergy? This is my personal cause for the practice theme of our sangha meeting coming Monday. You may have noticed I often use my own experience in this invitations and themes. It is my interpretation of informal practice. Insight and experience are related. The direction of the theme is acceptance, practicing friendship with life. In doing this, I have a strong confidence that you, reader and practitioner can relate this theme with your own experiences, challenges, maybe a slight form of an allergy. You are cordially invited, Monday evening. Ik wish you a relaxed weekend, with beautiful mindful moments of acceptance and joy. Joost Vriens
NB: Because of the holiday-period, there will be no Online Sangha from July, 11 until August 1st. You can join the live Sangha at the Schatkamer. |
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